Dominance, Domineering, and Dogs

Why It's Time to Rethink What You've Been Told

We've all seen it. A dog growls, pulls, jumps, or guards a toy—and someone calls it dominance. Maybe they say the dog is trying to be the alpha. Perhaps they claim you've heard your dog is testing boundaries or challenging authority.

For a long time, those ideas were treated like truth. Trainers taught them. TV shows broadcast them. Even well-meaning dog owners repeated them—because they were the only explanation that seemed to make sense when a dog's behavior felt intense, confusing, or out of control.

What if dominance isn't the problem?

What if the entire framework is based on a misunderstanding—not just of dogs, but of what behavior actually is?

The truth is, most behavior we label as dominant has nothing to do with power or status—and everything to do with stress, confusion, unmet needs, and the absence of choice.

When we look at a dog through the lens of dominance, we miss the real story. We stop asking why the behavior is happening. We stop listening.

That's where trust starts to break down.

This isn't just about correcting a myth. It's about changing how we relate to dogs—and giving ourselves better tools to understand, support, and live with them.

So, let's pause the old narrative. And look at what's really going on.

What Is "Dominance," Really?

In the science world, dominance isn't a character trait. It's not something a dog is. It's just a label describing a specific relationship between two individuals, where one consistently steps aside and lets the other access something, like a bed, toy, or doorway.

It's not about being bossy.

It's not about trying to take over.

And it's definitely not why most dogs growl, jump, pull on the leash, or ignore your "commands."

When we talk about what dominance really means, it's about predictable patterns and communication that help reduce conflict, not cause it. For instance, a dog may use body language to signal their intention to access a resource, and the other dog may respond by yielding the space. In other words, it's a way for dogs to keep the peace—not start trouble.

When It Looks Like Control

Sometimes, dogs do things that feel like they're trying to run the show—mounting other dogs, blocking doorways, hoarding toys, or jumping all over guests like they own the place. It's easy to look at those behaviors and think, "This dog is trying to be dominant."

In most cases, those behaviors are actually signs of something else entirely:

• Overarousal or frustration

• Struggling with regulation (impulse control)

• Lack of clear boundaries or expectations

• Inexperience with social interactions

• And that's just the beginning—whole books can and have been written on these topics and more.

It's not about power.

These dogs aren't trying to take over—they're just having big feelings and don't have the skills to handle them. Think of it less like a power grab and more like a dog who's overwhelmed and unsure how to respond. A dog trying to navigate a world shaped by human decisions—with only the tools they were given by nature.

Most dogs in today's modern world, especially those in the U.S., have little to no choice or autonomy. They don't get to choose their friends, where to walk, who touches them, what to eat, or even when to go to the bathroom.

You choose all of that for them—and more.

So when we see a dog trying to manage something—like blocking a doorway or guarding a toy—it's usually not about status. It's about trying to make sense of a world where nearly every decision is made for our dogs by us.

That's not dominance. That's a dog trying to get their emotional, physical, and biological needs met.

What About Wolves

These parents don't rule through aggression. They lead through experience, predictability, and meeting needs—much like any effective caregiver.

The idea that dogs try to dominate their humans comes mainly from outdated research and beliefs about wolves.

Early studies—especially in the mid-20th century—were based on captive wolves.

These were often unrelated adult animals confined in artificial groups with no way to leave or avoid conflict. Under the stress of confinement and unmet needs, conflict was common. Researchers interpreted those interactions through a dominance lens, concluding that wolf packs were built on rigid hierarchies and constant power struggles.

Later, field research on wild wolves revealed a very different picture.

In the wild, wolves typically live in nuclear family groups, not mixed packs of unrelated adults. A breeding pair raises their offspring, sometimes alongside older siblings who haven't yet gone off on their own. What was once called the "alpha" or "dominant" wolf is simply a parent—usually the mother or father of the group.

These parents don't rule through aggression. They lead through experience, predictability, and meeting needs—much like any effective caregiver. While deference behaviors do exist—like waiting turns at a carcass or yielding space—they're context-specific, not signs of rank enforcement. And status-related behaviors generally don't wholly emerge until after sexual maturity.

So when someone says, 'My puppy is trying to dominate me,' what they're usually seeing is normal developmental behavior. Like human children, puppies go through stages of exploration, testing boundaries, and learning social skills. This is not a power struggle but a young animal still learning to navigate the world.

What About Dogs

One thing needs to be clear, dogs aren't wolves. They've been shaped by thousands of years of domestication, which changed not just how they look but how they behave, how they socialize, and what they need.

Even dogs that live without direct human care—often called free-living or village dogs—don't form rigid pack structures like wolves. Instead, they tend to live in loose, shifting groups. Their social relationships are fluid—more like neighborhood acquaintances and friendships than strict hierarchies.

Our pet dogs are even further removed. They live in homes, sleep on furniture, and rely on humans for nearly everything. When they live with other dogs, we may see stable routines or deference patterns—one dog consistently gives space to another at the food bowl or the couch, for example. But this doesn't mean they're fighting for dominance. It's just how dogs negotiate life together.

Dogs, like people, build relationships, not ranks.

Some dogs may have strong social preferences. Some form close bonds. Some like a wide circle of playmates; others prefer a single companion. These patterns reflect friendship, tolerance, compatibility, and learned negotiation—not dominance struggles.

If one dog always takes the couch while another lies on the floor, it's probably a familiar, low-friction arrangement—not a leadership contest.

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Are Dogs Descended from Wolves

While it's common to hear that dogs are "domesticated wolves," that's not entirely accurate.

Modern dogs (Canis familiaris) and modern gray wolves (Canis lupus) share a common ancestor. Still, dogs are not descended from the wolves we see today.

Instead, genetic evidence suggests both species diverged from an extinct wolf-like ancestor between 15,000 and 40,000 years ago. Over time, dogs underwent genetic, behavioral, and ecological changes that make them a distinct species, not a tame version of something else.

In short:

👉 Dogs aren't wolves.

👉 They're not even ex-wolves.

👉 They're their own species—shaped by co-evolution with humans.

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What's Really Going On Beneath the Behavior

When a dog guards a toy, barks at a guest, blocks the hallway, or shows a behavior we label "aggression," it's easy to jump to conclusions—especially when we've been told these are signs of a dominant personality.

But those surface behaviors rarely reflect a desire for power. More often, they result from a dog trying to make sense of a world that feels unpredictable, overstimulating, or out of their control.

Some dogs are navigating environments that clash with their innate drives.

Some are overwhelmed by social pressure, unclear expectations, or a lack of agency.

Others are responding to stress, frustration, or even subtle discomforts we haven't yet recognized.

And many are simply doing what works—because it's what they've learned or all they know.

What looks like a power grab is more often a coping strategy.

The story shifts when we see the behavior not as a challenge to authority but as an adaptation to internal and external pressures. We stop stating, "My dog is dominant!" and start asking, "What's shaping this?" That's where real change begins.

Why It Matters

When we assume a dog is being dominant, it often leads us to respond with correction, control, or confrontation. We brace for a power struggle—and sometimes, we create one that wasn't there to begin with.

But when we pause and ask:

• "What is my dog trying to communicate?"

• "What's going on emotionally right now?"

• "Is there a need that's not being met?"

Suddenly, the path forward looks completely different.

Understanding behavior isn't about making excuses but solving the right problem. And that's how we get real change.

Key Takeaways

• Dogs aren't trying to dominate you. Most behavior labeled as "dominant" is about excitement, confusion, stress, or habit—not a power play.

• The word "dominance" in science describes a specific pattern of deference between two individuals, usually to prevent conflict—not something one dog imposes on everyone else.

• Pushy or socially inflexible behavior is often rooted in overarousal, lack of skills, or unclear boundaries—not social status.

• Even free-living dogs organize their lives around tolerance and access, not rigid hierarchies. They form flexible social arrangements—not structured packs.

• Dogs are individuals. They build relationships, make choices, and learn routines—not ranks. Most multi-dog households operate on familiarity, not authority.

• When we focus on what a dog's behavior is doing for them—instead of what it "means" in terms of status—we open the door to more effective, more humane solutions.

If this reshaped how you think about dominance, you're not alone. 

Most of us were taught something different at some point. The good news? When we let go of old beliefs, we get to build something even better—more clarity, cooperation, and a stronger relationship between you and your dog.

Meet Valeria

Valeria Cascaddan has spent more than three decades working with dogs—and the people who love them—using a whole-dog approach rooted in science, emotional insight, and a deep respect for each dog’s individuality and environment. She sees behavior as communication and her work focuses on helping people truly listen to what their dogs are saying.

From her 80-acre homestead in rural Northern Michigan, Valeria grows food, writes about behavior, and distills a lifetime of observation into practical, compassionate guidance. She’s the founder of Drop the Leash LLC, where she offers online learning and behavior consultations rooted in clarity, collaboration, and curiosity.

Equal parts grounded and unconventional, Valeria is known for helping others make sense of canine behavior—not with jargon or gimmicks, but by teaching what truly matters.

She holds certifications from the Karen Pryor Academy, Fear Free™, and Certification Council for Professional Dog Trainers and Behavior Consultants, and is a Dual-Licensed Family Dog Mediator™. With over thirty years of animal experience, Valeria brings a rare blend of hands-on wisdom and science-backed insight to every case she meets.

Sources:

I. Foundational Works on Canine Behavior and Domestication

A. Coppinger, R., & Coppinger, L. (2001). Dogs: A New Understanding of Canine Origin, Behavior, and Evolution.

– Foundational work on dog domestication, behavior, and ethology.

B. Perri, A. R. (2016). A wolf in dog's clothing: Initial dog domestication and Pleistocene wolf variation. Journal of Archaeological Science.

– Explores early domestication and the evolutionary link between Pleistocene wolves and domestic dogs.

C. Freedman, A. H., et al. (2014). Genome sequencing highlights the dynamic early history of dogs. PLOS Genetics.

 – Reveals the complex genetic history of dog domestication.

II. Rethinking Dominance and Social Structure

A. Mech, L. D. (1999). Alpha Status, Dominance, and Division of Labor in Wolf Packs.

– Clarifies how early wolf research led to misunderstandings about social rank and hierarchy.

B. Bonanni, R., et al. (2017). Dominance in a Pack of Free-Ranging Domestic Dogs.

– Peer-reviewed field study showing flexible and context-dependent dominance relationships in free-living dogs.

C. Bradshaw, J. W. S., Blackwell, E. J., & Casey, R. A. (2009). Dominance in domestic dogs—useful construct or bad habit? Journal of Veterinary Behavior.

– Critiques the overuse and misapplication of dominance in domestic dog behavior analysis.

D. Bekoff, M. (2012). Social Dominance Is Not a Myth.

– Argues that while dominance exists, it's often misunderstood and misrepresented.

III. Contemporary Applied Frameworks

A. Brophey, K. – L.E.G.S.™ Applied Ethology Framework

– Systems-based model of behavior grounded in Learning, Environment, Genetics, and Self.